Preface
Every city has at least one alternative weekly entertainment magazine, and somewhere amid the ads for discount computer peripherals and transvestite escort services are the week's live music listings. This weekend, for instance, the Giant Baby is at the EI Mocambo, Hooded Fang at Rancho Relaxo, Wordburglar at Lula Lounge, Box Full of Cash is at Gorilla Monsoon, and the Hymen Smashers are at Sneaky Dee's with Hollywood Swank. Never heard of them? They're big. Well, big-ish. They have CDs and MySpace pages and choice gigs in a major city. And they have great band names.
This book is about those bands. While it addresses the name origins of well-known bands, it gives equal time to lesser known bands and shines a spotlight on independents, the tenacious club acts and the day-job holders who strap on guitars and hit local stages on weekends. Of course, rock music has always worked this way, but now, with affordable digital recording technology and personal websites, a local band can develop a global fan-base, and listeners can discover favorite new bands with a couple of mouse clicks. I hope that as you read this book, certain names, facts, trivia and artwork will lead you to check out new bands, no matter what type of music you like.
A percentage of these band names were obviously created to shock and offend those easily shocked and offended. The risqué aspects of rock & roll have been with us since Little Richard donned eyeliner and squealed, since Jerry Lee Lewis married his underage cousin, since Elvis unleashed his pelvis. It's part of the fun. To use the name of a current band, Does It Offend You, Yeah? Well, it's the reason this music exists and thrives.
There are plenty of lists out there with hilarious names for bands whose existence cannot be proven (i.e., 350,000 Crazed and Fully Africanized "Welcome to Disneyworld" Bees). I decided to insist on hearing some music by each artist in this book. As further proof, I thought I'd include some CD covers. Of course, this became addictive: so many bands with cool names and album art; so many great posters. All of the artwork was generously contributed by the bands and artists. Due to space concerns, a few shorter chapters near the end of the book failed to make the final cut. I would like to apologize to the members of U2, AFI, UB40, INXS, XTC, MC5, 10cc, Blink-182, 54-40 and the many other letter and number bands who were to have appeared in those missing chapters. Likewise, I beg forgiveness of the Kings of Leon and King Crimson, of Queen and Queens of the Stone Age -- of all the royalty bands, as well as the philosophers, dragons, elves, dwarves, pixies and giants. And others. You know who you are; I won't call attention to your absence. (You're in the sequel, I promise.)
Lastly, if you're thinking of starting a band and feel, after reading this book, that all the good names have been taken, please feel free to help yourself to one of the Names Still Available or maybe try your luck with one of the dozen or so online "band name generators." Better yet, do what so many bands have done in the past: Make something up as you step on stage for your first gig.
